We are finally getting back to normal after last week's scary episode. We all actually slept through the night last night... and boy, did we need it! We have been one cranky household this week! I've been sick with a cold and Jayna hasn't been sleeping as well as she was. I think she's still a bit traumatized from last Friday.
Scott has been having issues with his TERRIBLE management at work. For instance, he got in trouble for the 3rd time today concerning a client that is not even his... that he's never met before! What I'd like to know, is how on earth can a company survive with the incredibly poor organizational skills they practice?! Poor Scott loses sleep every time his supervisor freaks out on him, and 90% of the time it's their own fault, but they'll never take responsibility. Why should they when they can blame everything on the PSR's (even when it involves a client that isn't even their's)?! I'm so done with this company and I'm not even the one that works for them! We're praying Scott can get a new job soon so he can quit this circus.
On a brighter note, Jayna is developing faster than I ever imagined. Just this week, she's started noticing everything around her and has so much energy that she doesn't even want to eat half the time because she's looking around at everything. She finally loves sitting in her vibrating chair that has little toys hanging above it. She was entertained for 2 hrs yesterday in it! I couldn't even get her to sit in it last week and she'd have nothing to do with the toys. She's also moving all around the place... on her back. She refuses tummy time, but she scoots herself all around the room on her back. She's giggling and cooing like crazy and we're loving every minute of it :).
After our rough, cranky week, I was wary of having our Christmas today because we weren't much in the Christmas spirit. However, after staying up until 2 am finishing a Christmas project, I got much more in the mood and celebrating our little family Christmas today was/is just what the doctor ordered. We are in such a better mood today and are now looking forward to spending time with those we love!
Baker's Partial Dozen
Friday, December 21, 2012
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Worst Nightmare
I don't even know where to begin on this post. I am so emotional and overcome with gratitude and sadness that I can't quit crying.
Last night, we put Jayna to bed at about 11:00 and then stayed up a while longer. When we went up to bed, we noticed our room didn't smell so fresh (we live in an old house that used to have smokers, so this can be a regular occurrence). Therefore, Scott went into the bathroom and grabbed the air freshener and sprayed our room. I don't know if the air freshener went bad or what, but we both immediately started coughing and opened our window to air it out. After it was aired out we went to bed and Scott immediately fell asleep. I, on the other hand just couldn't sleep... I kept thinking about the shooting in Connecticut and couldn't imagine what those poor families must be going through.
Around 2 am, I noticed Jayna was making weird sounds. She does this often because of her laryngomalacia, but these sounds were different. I kept trying to talk myself out of going and checking on her because I constantly feel the need to check on her and she's always fine and then I feel like an over-paranoid mother. Going against my own logical thoughts was the smartest thing I could have done. I went into her bedroom and saw what no parent ever wants to see. She was arched completely backwards trying to get air, while mucus was overtaking her nose and mouth and flowing out. I immediately grabbed her and started trying to get the mucus out, but the more I worked at it, the worse it seemed to get. I screamed at Scott to wake up at the point she was turning blue and ran to find her little suction bulb, which we've not needed to use until now, so I had to hunt. When Scott grabbed her and brought her downstairs, she let out the most discomforting burp I've ever heard! You could hear the mucus all down her throat and into her stomach! She then started puking up mucus and ended up puking it up 3 different times. I kept suctioning and suctioning, but to no avail. We grabbed her car seat and diaper bag and ran out the door. I did what I never thought I'd do... I held Jayna the whole way there. I was not about to let go of her and put her in her car seat. The whole way there, she just laid in my arms completely limp, barely able to breathe as I kept suctioning her nose and mouth. I was screaming at the traffic lights the whole way (which worked most of the time because there was very little traffic out). I looked at her, completely pale and ghost-like, with red puffy eyes and lost it. I couldn't bare the thought of losing my child. I then realized how many parents were experiencing even worse pain than Scott and I were this very night and my heart went out to them even more.
We got to the ER and I ran Jayna in, practically breaking down the doors. They got Jayna right back and started looking at her. By this time, she stopped producing as much mucus and was breathing somewhat steadily, but they kept her until about 5 am to make sure she was okay. The Dr. told me that she was experiencing a chemical reaction to the room spray. Even though we only sprayed it in our room and immediately aired it out, it was still too much for her. He said that she may have added allergies to scents, so if we ever spray anything, it needs to be lightly and hypo-allergenic if at all possible.
I can't imagine what would have happened had I fallen asleep, or not gone in and checked on her. She's only been in our lives a few short months, but I cannot imagine life without her. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father was watching out for us and kept me awake and urged me to go check on her. We've been through absolute Hell the last four months as far as our health is concerned and have been to the ER more than I can possibly imagine, but we are all alive and for the most part well and for that, I am grateful.
I've been holding little Jayna practically non-stop since 2 am and am completely paranoid about falling asleep. I love her so much! I've had friends who have lost children and can now only begin to imagine how hard that had to have been. I really don't think I'd be able to get out of bed or function if that happened. My heart truly goes out to those who have lost children, and at this time I really feel for those who lost children in the shootings. I will pray for them harder than I've prayed in a long, long time.
Last night, we put Jayna to bed at about 11:00 and then stayed up a while longer. When we went up to bed, we noticed our room didn't smell so fresh (we live in an old house that used to have smokers, so this can be a regular occurrence). Therefore, Scott went into the bathroom and grabbed the air freshener and sprayed our room. I don't know if the air freshener went bad or what, but we both immediately started coughing and opened our window to air it out. After it was aired out we went to bed and Scott immediately fell asleep. I, on the other hand just couldn't sleep... I kept thinking about the shooting in Connecticut and couldn't imagine what those poor families must be going through.
Around 2 am, I noticed Jayna was making weird sounds. She does this often because of her laryngomalacia, but these sounds were different. I kept trying to talk myself out of going and checking on her because I constantly feel the need to check on her and she's always fine and then I feel like an over-paranoid mother. Going against my own logical thoughts was the smartest thing I could have done. I went into her bedroom and saw what no parent ever wants to see. She was arched completely backwards trying to get air, while mucus was overtaking her nose and mouth and flowing out. I immediately grabbed her and started trying to get the mucus out, but the more I worked at it, the worse it seemed to get. I screamed at Scott to wake up at the point she was turning blue and ran to find her little suction bulb, which we've not needed to use until now, so I had to hunt. When Scott grabbed her and brought her downstairs, she let out the most discomforting burp I've ever heard! You could hear the mucus all down her throat and into her stomach! She then started puking up mucus and ended up puking it up 3 different times. I kept suctioning and suctioning, but to no avail. We grabbed her car seat and diaper bag and ran out the door. I did what I never thought I'd do... I held Jayna the whole way there. I was not about to let go of her and put her in her car seat. The whole way there, she just laid in my arms completely limp, barely able to breathe as I kept suctioning her nose and mouth. I was screaming at the traffic lights the whole way (which worked most of the time because there was very little traffic out). I looked at her, completely pale and ghost-like, with red puffy eyes and lost it. I couldn't bare the thought of losing my child. I then realized how many parents were experiencing even worse pain than Scott and I were this very night and my heart went out to them even more.
We got to the ER and I ran Jayna in, practically breaking down the doors. They got Jayna right back and started looking at her. By this time, she stopped producing as much mucus and was breathing somewhat steadily, but they kept her until about 5 am to make sure she was okay. The Dr. told me that she was experiencing a chemical reaction to the room spray. Even though we only sprayed it in our room and immediately aired it out, it was still too much for her. He said that she may have added allergies to scents, so if we ever spray anything, it needs to be lightly and hypo-allergenic if at all possible.
I can't imagine what would have happened had I fallen asleep, or not gone in and checked on her. She's only been in our lives a few short months, but I cannot imagine life without her. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father was watching out for us and kept me awake and urged me to go check on her. We've been through absolute Hell the last four months as far as our health is concerned and have been to the ER more than I can possibly imagine, but we are all alive and for the most part well and for that, I am grateful.
I've been holding little Jayna practically non-stop since 2 am and am completely paranoid about falling asleep. I love her so much! I've had friends who have lost children and can now only begin to imagine how hard that had to have been. I really don't think I'd be able to get out of bed or function if that happened. My heart truly goes out to those who have lost children, and at this time I really feel for those who lost children in the shootings. I will pray for them harder than I've prayed in a long, long time.
Breathing...
Jayna went to see the pulmonary specialist on the 5th to find out why she's wheezing and gasping for breath all the time. Turns out she has a condition called laryngomalacia. It can be somewhat common in premies, but doesn't make it any less scary. Basically, the cartilage in her epiglottis isn't developed, so when she goes to breathe in, the epiglottis collapses partially over the airway, rather than lifting to allow the air to pass. The condition is expected to worsen until she's about 6 months old, but she should grow out of it by the time she's 2 years old... a long time for a worry-wart mother!
Being a voice teacher, I was absolutely ecstatic to view her larynx in the laryngoscope. I got to see her adorable little vocal folds and I actually knew what the Dr. was talking about when he was explaining what was going on. I felt so smart ;)!
We will just keep praying that she will make it through this first 6 months!
Being a voice teacher, I was absolutely ecstatic to view her larynx in the laryngoscope. I got to see her adorable little vocal folds and I actually knew what the Dr. was talking about when he was explaining what was going on. I felt so smart ;)!
We will just keep praying that she will make it through this first 6 months!
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Thanksgiving and such
Where to begin!
- We ended up switching Jayna back to her mixed formula and she has been GREAT! She sleeps from 10-7 almost every night! We are truly blessed in this regard!
- I finally got to a pain-free state a little over a week ago, which was blissful. I went to my gallbladder Dr. on the 20th and he cleared me for full-on exercise and I was all excited to go on a major walk on Thanksgiving day... That was until that night :p Can you believe that the very day I got cleared to exercise I ended up in the ER again?!?! I know, I couldn't believe it either. In fact, I refused to go back to the ER and was in the worst pain of my life (I know I say that every time, but this time it just happened to be worse than the gallbladder pain and birth pain) from 11:30pm to 3:00am. At 3:00, after my 3rd ridiculously hot shower/bath, 3rd time throwing up, and not being able to lay, sit, stand or walk I asked Scott for a blessing. In the blessing it said something about knowing what I needed to do to give myself relief. Almost immediately after the blessing, I was humbled, yet again and knew that I HAD to go to the ER. I was almost immediately put on Morphine and had to have a CAT-scan (I have no idea how to spell that). They found kidney stones :(!!! One still in my kidney and the other stuck in my ureter (that's the painful part). They gave me some heavy pain pills and some Flomax to help the stone move through easier. The stone has now moved into my bladder, but refuses to pass. I'm constantly amazed that just as I feel everything is good, yet another thing has to happen to me. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to learn from all of this... I really am trying to take care of myself! I've done everything my doctors have told me to do and am trying to work on getting my weight back off, but am running into bump after bump. I'm praying this is the end! I don't think my psyche or my wallet can handle anymore, let alone my husband and baby. I do have to say that Thanksgiving dinner on pain pills is a whole new experience! If you ever get the chance to experience it, you should. Haha!
- Scott and I have decided that we want to start some Christmas traditions of our own. The first one we got excited about is going to the grocery store and paying for the groceries of the person behind us in line. However, since we've had so many unexpected bills lately, we'll have to wait until next year for this one. I am pleased to say, however, that my amazing sister Stephanie fulfilled it for us this year. She was in line at the grocery store and the man in front of her didn't have enough money for the Thanksgiving meal he was trying to purchase. Though money has been tight for them this year as well, she generously offered to pay for the remainder of this man's groceries. She said it made her realize how much they truly had, because they had never been without. I HAVE SUCH AN INCREDIBLE FAMILY!!!
- I am so incredibly grateful to have such an amazing husband who has been nothing but supportive through everything we've had to go through and I'm grateful that we've been able to grow closer through all of our trials rather than farther apart. I'm grateful for a beautiful daughter who makes me smile and laugh every single day. I'm grateful for my family who constantly sets a great example for what I want to become. I'm grateful for loving and giving in-laws that live so close by. Most of all, I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who watches over us. Even when we feel abandoned, we look back and see that he truly has a hand in everything. Though we've had a lot of trials, we've been blessed even more.
- Here are the many smiles of Jayna that keep me entertained every day :) Thanks to my sis-in-law, Becky, for capturing them on camera... I'm not so good at that part. Haha!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Ramblings
So I feel the need to write, even though I really have nothing important to say. I'm amazed at how my pregnancy emotions have seemed to return since my gall bladder surgery. It's hilarious (or not) that I felt totally normal the week after having Jayna, but have been an emotional mess for the last couple of weeks. I hit my limit last Friday night and had a huge breakdown. I feel that overall, I've been very positive about everything Scott and I have had to endure in the last year and a half. However, after bed rest, c-section recovery, gall bladder attacks, and gall bladder surgery (and recovery) I was excited to be through everything. But no, I have now had a sore throat for 1 1/2 weeks, which is SO not ideal for teaching voice, and then last Friday night I threw my back out picking Jayna up... That's when I lost it! I threw a 2-yr-old tantrum and bawled for hours.
The next morning I couldn't even get my excitement up for my first "Join Our Journey" meeting, which I had been so excited about for 1 1/2 weeks. Luckily, Rebecca, Clarissa, and I were the only ones there. Normally, I would have been disappointed in such a small turn-out, but given my mood I was really grateful it was just the three of us. I am hoping to get more people to join us at the meetings (we have some out of town followers on the blog, which I'm grateful for), but figure that will start to happen after the holidays. I am really glad Rebecca and Clarissa are doing it with me, though! I think we have the perfect blend of personalities to help motivate one another.
My back is now feeling better, my sore throat is starting to heal, and I'm almost better from gall bladder surgery, so I'm praying for the best. Now I just have to figure out Jayna's tummy! She was doing so well for a few weeks, but has now returned to her super fussy ways. I'm hoping it will pass soon, as well. She has hit a major growth spurt, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not. She is sleeping for 7-hour stints through the night, which is sooooo wonderful!
Scott has a job interview today that I'm really hoping will pan out! If it does pan out, I think it will be something he will be good at and he will enjoy. Sadly, the whole PSR job he currently has, has not been a good experience, though he has gained some new skills and resume build from it. We'll keep fasting and praying for a good job in this economy. Sadly, Scott graduated at just the wrong time. The economy is starting to look up, but they're also trying to hire new grads. When Scott graduated, was when the economy was at it's worst... Needless to say, it's been a journey. :)
Sorry for all the negativity in this post! Just trying to get some things off my chest in hopes that I can get my positive attitude back. :)
The next morning I couldn't even get my excitement up for my first "Join Our Journey" meeting, which I had been so excited about for 1 1/2 weeks. Luckily, Rebecca, Clarissa, and I were the only ones there. Normally, I would have been disappointed in such a small turn-out, but given my mood I was really grateful it was just the three of us. I am hoping to get more people to join us at the meetings (we have some out of town followers on the blog, which I'm grateful for), but figure that will start to happen after the holidays. I am really glad Rebecca and Clarissa are doing it with me, though! I think we have the perfect blend of personalities to help motivate one another.
My back is now feeling better, my sore throat is starting to heal, and I'm almost better from gall bladder surgery, so I'm praying for the best. Now I just have to figure out Jayna's tummy! She was doing so well for a few weeks, but has now returned to her super fussy ways. I'm hoping it will pass soon, as well. She has hit a major growth spurt, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not. She is sleeping for 7-hour stints through the night, which is sooooo wonderful!
Scott has a job interview today that I'm really hoping will pan out! If it does pan out, I think it will be something he will be good at and he will enjoy. Sadly, the whole PSR job he currently has, has not been a good experience, though he has gained some new skills and resume build from it. We'll keep fasting and praying for a good job in this economy. Sadly, Scott graduated at just the wrong time. The economy is starting to look up, but they're also trying to hire new grads. When Scott graduated, was when the economy was at it's worst... Needless to say, it's been a journey. :)
Sorry for all the negativity in this post! Just trying to get some things off my chest in hopes that I can get my positive attitude back. :)
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Jayna's 10-week stats
Jayna had her "2 month" appointment last Friday, even though she was 10 weeks. These are her stats:
- Head Circumference - 37 cm (10th percentile)
- Weight - 8 lb 12 oz (not on the chart)
- Height - 21 inches (not on the chart)
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Pure Excitement!
So... Just in case you haven't heard yet, my friend (Rebecca Peterson) and I are starting a motivational group geared towards healthy living and weight loss. Though it's geared towards weight loss, this group is designed to give people the tools to be self-motivated to achieve anything in life. We want lots of people to be involved... I do mean INVOLVED. This group will be one that those who participate in, are highly involved in sharing their talents and insights... everyone there will be involved. Anyone over age 14 is welcome, whether thick, thin, male or female. Please check it out and spread the word! We are so excited to get this going!!!
www.joinjerushasjourney.blogspot.com
Those that aren't able to attend, are more than welcome to follow us on that blog and partake in the goodness ;)
www.joinjerushasjourney.blogspot.com
Those that aren't able to attend, are more than welcome to follow us on that blog and partake in the goodness ;)
First trip to Grandma Cox's
We went to Twin Falls this weekend to attend Lance and Becky's Halloween party. It was great! They have the best decorations (and house to compliment them) ever! Kempton and Bonnie were also there and got to meet Jayna. We had a very fun successful weekend.
Successful was not what I thought would happen, however. Jayna had to have her immunization shots on Friday morning, and the night before she acted like she really didn't feel well. So when we were at the Dr's office and the nurse came in, I expected the worst. The nurse was the fastest I'd ever seen giving 3 shots. Of coarse, the first prick sent Jayna into a screaming fit that matched none other, but immediately after the bandaids were placed and the nurse handed her to me, she was fine. What? My daughter? Amazingly enough, she didn't get sick or anything afterwards and actually slept all day... AND... (ready for this?) She slept from 1:00 am until 10:30 when we finally woke her up to eat. Unbelieveable!!!
Then we assumed that was all from the shots, but she was great all day Saturday, slept the whole night (minus one 15 min feeding at 5:15) and was great today! Could it be she's finally past her colicky period?! I sure hope so... I hope it's not just the fact that she's putting on a show for Grandma. ;) I love the cute stage she's in!
Successful was not what I thought would happen, however. Jayna had to have her immunization shots on Friday morning, and the night before she acted like she really didn't feel well. So when we were at the Dr's office and the nurse came in, I expected the worst. The nurse was the fastest I'd ever seen giving 3 shots. Of coarse, the first prick sent Jayna into a screaming fit that matched none other, but immediately after the bandaids were placed and the nurse handed her to me, she was fine. What? My daughter? Amazingly enough, she didn't get sick or anything afterwards and actually slept all day... AND... (ready for this?) She slept from 1:00 am until 10:30 when we finally woke her up to eat. Unbelieveable!!!
Then we assumed that was all from the shots, but she was great all day Saturday, slept the whole night (minus one 15 min feeding at 5:15) and was great today! Could it be she's finally past her colicky period?! I sure hope so... I hope it's not just the fact that she's putting on a show for Grandma. ;) I love the cute stage she's in!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Smiley Jayna
A couple of weeks ago, Jayna started smiling... I mean truly smiling. Since then, I've been trying to get a good picture, but my camera is so dang slow that by the time the pic is taken, Jayna is already done smiling. Needless to say, I have a lot of random, open-mouthed pictures. However, the last couple of days (just before she turns 10 weeks!!!), Jayna has been smiling ear to ear for long periods of time. Last night I finally got some adorable pictures! Unfortunately, I can only get her to smile a lot while holding her, so my photography skills are not so hot.
This is my ABSOLUTE favorite!
Here are some attempts that are cute, but not the full effect.
Last week, my friend April brought us some newborn clothes that Jayna is still able to wear for a few more weeks. In the bag, was this cute little outfit with a matching hat. The first day I was able to pick Jayna up after surgery, I immediately dressed her in it and we cuddled like no one has cuddled before. So cute!!!
Speaking of hats... The mother of one of my students made this adorable hat for Jayna. I'm so excited for the cooler weather so she can wear it. Coincidentally, another student gave me a gift card that I used to buy an adorable red sweater (before I got the hat). They match so well! (I don't have a pic of the sweater yet. We just threw the hat on and took a picture.) It's amazing how much Jayna has grown in a few short weeks since this picture was taken!
And lastly, I couldn't resist getting a naked butt shot... it's just so little and cute, though much bigger than it used to be.
She was not amused at all!!!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Surgery #2
On Oct 17th I went in for gall bladder surgery. Seeing as I had had surgery just 2 months previous and healed like a pro, I figured I had nothing to worry about... Especially since most people I've talked to have said this surgery is a breeze and has a fast recovery. So I went in at 8am to get everything prepped for my 10:00 surgery. They asked me about a million questions to make sure I wasn't high-risk for surgery. The only complication I knew about was that my oxygen levels after my c-section went low (below 90), so they had me on oxygen for a bit.
I went into the operating room and they put a nice mask on me, told me to take deep breaths and *Boom* I was out. The next thing I know I have all these people tapping on me saying, "Come on... wake up! Breathe! Come on... you need to breathe! Are you with us? Wake up! Come on!" I heard them, but nothing made sense, and then I thought to myself, "I am breathing... I can hear you, can't I?" Then I heard one last person say, "You've got to take some deep breaths... Come on!" So I took a deep breath and heard a slight sigh of relief and then more pleas to repeat that action. After a few deep breaths (me, still half asleep), everything quieted back down and I heard one person say, "My word! I could not get her to breathe. Her oxygen levels got down to 23 and she made me way too nervous..." and then I was back out.
After I was in the recovery room, all I remember is that alarms kept going off and the nurse would walk by my room and remind me to breathe. Getting checked out was a little frustrating because Scott had to be at work and my mom had Jayna, so she was able to pick me up, but it was difficult for her to actually come all the way in. So, there I was, completely drugged and unable to make sense of much, but it didn't matter because I wasn't given any instructions whatsoever. I found out later that the Dr. had given Scott some info on when I could bathe and whatnot, but apparently all the info was in the nifty little folder they gave me. It would have been nice if the nurse had told me that everything I needed to know was in there. I do, however, remember that I asked the nurse if they called in the prescription and she said, "I haven't yet, but I need to." So I didn't bother looking in the folder they sent with me and sent my mom to the pharmacy, and lo and behold, they didn't call it in. Luckily, I had a bit of the pain killer left over from my c-section and it had a refill on it. I got the refill before I could actually get the other prescription in and filled. Thank goodness for my c-section. I would have been in some serious pain!
Sadly, I didn't not feel better in 2-3 days like most people. In fact, I was in bed, unable to hold Jayna all the way through Sunday. Yep, 5 days in bed, asleep. Then on Monday I felt a bit better, but could still not pick Jayna up... she had to be handed to me. I called the Dr on Tuesday to see why I wasn't healing faster and they told me that I could have pain for up to 2 weeks and since my body had just recovered from another surgery, my body would probably take a bit longer to heal. Good times!
I'm feeling much better today. Still have pain, but it's minimal compared to what it was.
Mom came and took care of Jayna and me, which was so wonderful! I felt horrible because the first night after my surgery Jayna screamed until 7am... Way to initiate Grandma, little one! Funny enough, we had her on a decent sleeping schedule until then. Now she's reversed and we're struggling to get her flipped back around. Today, with me trying to wake her up, she slept from 9:30 am to 6:45 pm with only one 1 1/2 oz bottle at 3:00. Why, oh why, can't she do that at night?! Oh well, welcome to motherhood!
Through this whole experience, I've decided that when it comes time for me to die, I just want someone to give me general anesthesia and let me stop breathing. It was totally peaceful :)
I went into the operating room and they put a nice mask on me, told me to take deep breaths and *Boom* I was out. The next thing I know I have all these people tapping on me saying, "Come on... wake up! Breathe! Come on... you need to breathe! Are you with us? Wake up! Come on!" I heard them, but nothing made sense, and then I thought to myself, "I am breathing... I can hear you, can't I?" Then I heard one last person say, "You've got to take some deep breaths... Come on!" So I took a deep breath and heard a slight sigh of relief and then more pleas to repeat that action. After a few deep breaths (me, still half asleep), everything quieted back down and I heard one person say, "My word! I could not get her to breathe. Her oxygen levels got down to 23 and she made me way too nervous..." and then I was back out.
After I was in the recovery room, all I remember is that alarms kept going off and the nurse would walk by my room and remind me to breathe. Getting checked out was a little frustrating because Scott had to be at work and my mom had Jayna, so she was able to pick me up, but it was difficult for her to actually come all the way in. So, there I was, completely drugged and unable to make sense of much, but it didn't matter because I wasn't given any instructions whatsoever. I found out later that the Dr. had given Scott some info on when I could bathe and whatnot, but apparently all the info was in the nifty little folder they gave me. It would have been nice if the nurse had told me that everything I needed to know was in there. I do, however, remember that I asked the nurse if they called in the prescription and she said, "I haven't yet, but I need to." So I didn't bother looking in the folder they sent with me and sent my mom to the pharmacy, and lo and behold, they didn't call it in. Luckily, I had a bit of the pain killer left over from my c-section and it had a refill on it. I got the refill before I could actually get the other prescription in and filled. Thank goodness for my c-section. I would have been in some serious pain!
Sadly, I didn't not feel better in 2-3 days like most people. In fact, I was in bed, unable to hold Jayna all the way through Sunday. Yep, 5 days in bed, asleep. Then on Monday I felt a bit better, but could still not pick Jayna up... she had to be handed to me. I called the Dr on Tuesday to see why I wasn't healing faster and they told me that I could have pain for up to 2 weeks and since my body had just recovered from another surgery, my body would probably take a bit longer to heal. Good times!
I'm feeling much better today. Still have pain, but it's minimal compared to what it was.
Mom came and took care of Jayna and me, which was so wonderful! I felt horrible because the first night after my surgery Jayna screamed until 7am... Way to initiate Grandma, little one! Funny enough, we had her on a decent sleeping schedule until then. Now she's reversed and we're struggling to get her flipped back around. Today, with me trying to wake her up, she slept from 9:30 am to 6:45 pm with only one 1 1/2 oz bottle at 3:00. Why, oh why, can't she do that at night?! Oh well, welcome to motherhood!
Through this whole experience, I've decided that when it comes time for me to die, I just want someone to give me general anesthesia and let me stop breathing. It was totally peaceful :)
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Blessing Day
Today was Jayna's blessing day. Scott delivered a beautiful blessing... I'm kicking myself for forgetting a notebook to write down the key points, but I remember some of them. As per my recollection, he said that we are so happy and blessed to have her in our lives. He said we are aware of the challenges of life that would come before her, and he blessed her to be able to develop early in life the faith and testimony to prepare her for those challenges. The blessing also advised her to draw strength from those that came before her, and to serve as an example to those that come after her. It also said something along the lines about the need to be aware of those around her and to lead by example, by having love and empathy towards those around her.
Man, I wish I would have recorded it! It really was a beautiful blessing, and very specific to what I feel Jayna's strengths and weaknesses will be. It really opened my eyes and helped me to see the potential that Jayna has in life. I'm so wrapped up in her being a baby, that I rarely think about the person that she will become... the BEAUTIFUL person she will become!
We were so happy to have so much of our family and friends there to support us! The following are pictures at the luncheon after the blessing.
What a great day!!!
Man, I wish I would have recorded it! It really was a beautiful blessing, and very specific to what I feel Jayna's strengths and weaknesses will be. It really opened my eyes and helped me to see the potential that Jayna has in life. I'm so wrapped up in her being a baby, that I rarely think about the person that she will become... the BEAUTIFUL person she will become!
We were so happy to have so much of our family and friends there to support us! The following are pictures at the luncheon after the blessing.
All tuckered out and ready to eat! This is the same blessing dress my sisters and I wore on our blessing days.
My beautiful baby girl (looks just like daddy!)
How she was most of the time I was trying to get her picture... I love how huge her newborn tights are on her. Hehe!
We look super tired in this picture... because we are! I got 2 hrs of sleep and Scott got about 5.... Rough night (yes, I had another gall bladder attack... 3 days until surgery)!!!
Bakers (Pa, Ma, Nick, and Scott)
Scott created a kid's room in our unfinished basement... It was a hit! They were entertained and the adults were able to chat with little disruption! Way to go, Scotty!
Lesley Durfee and Stephanie
Her eyes look possessed in this one... Haha! My camera is terrible for red eye!
Lesley's daughter, Alexis (Lexi)
Ma and Pa Cox
Cameron Durfee, Conrad's butt, Allison, and Lance (lookin' special)
Ann and Sydnee
Becky and Kimball (though he's hidden)
Cozy Pa Cox with Jayna
What a great day!!!
Worst Mommy of the Year Goes to...
ME!!! A few days ago, I took lunch to a friend whose son is having health problems. Since he is quarantined to his house and they aren't allowed visitors, I figured I could just leave Jayna in the running car and drop the food off at the door. Well, Jayna was asleep, so I did just that. However, I forget that I talk... A LOT! You would think I'd know myself by now, but no.
So I stood at the door and we talked for a while and in the middle of talking to my friend, I got a sick feeling in my stomach that said, "Jayna is probably screaming and puking all over herself right now," but instead of listening, I told myself that she was asleep and fine. Besides, the car was just right there in front of the house. Well, after I finally couldn't ignore my gut anymore, I dragged myself away from the conversation and as I approached the car I could see the pure terror in my child's eyes. I ripped open the door only to find a screaming child that was screaming so hard she was hoarse... :( I couldn't believe it! I felt like the worst mother ever and about started bawling myself. I tried to console her, but no consoling would be had. I drove home as fast as I could and pulled her out and held her, and didn't let her go for at least an hour. Man, that was stupid! Always listen to your gut!
So I stood at the door and we talked for a while and in the middle of talking to my friend, I got a sick feeling in my stomach that said, "Jayna is probably screaming and puking all over herself right now," but instead of listening, I told myself that she was asleep and fine. Besides, the car was just right there in front of the house. Well, after I finally couldn't ignore my gut anymore, I dragged myself away from the conversation and as I approached the car I could see the pure terror in my child's eyes. I ripped open the door only to find a screaming child that was screaming so hard she was hoarse... :( I couldn't believe it! I felt like the worst mother ever and about started bawling myself. I tried to console her, but no consoling would be had. I drove home as fast as I could and pulled her out and held her, and didn't let her go for at least an hour. Man, that was stupid! Always listen to your gut!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Doctor gasps
Doctor gasps: something I'm definitely not used to and something you pretty much don't want to have happen at a Dr's appointment. I'm not generally a fan of going to the Dr. In fact, I always have nightmares about going to the doctor's office and having them gasp at something that is so abnormal it can't possibly be human.
However, over the past nine months, I've outgrown this fear and absolutely love my visits with my OB/GYN... She's absolutely wonderful and always makes me feel totally comfortable! She's probably one of the nicest/friendliest doctors I've ever encountered and I absolutely trust her.
So, today was my postpartum visit and I really had no idea what they would do at this visit. Much to my (unpleasant) surprise, I found out I had to have a "full exam", if you catch my drift. Well, Jayna was having a rough time and I was stressing trying to get her calmed down, all while in a gown with my butt hanging out (although they were totally patient with us). After getting her calmed down, I laid on the table to meet my fate of the day. My doctor pulled the sheet back to take a look at my incision scar... AND SHE GASPED!!!
I freaked out, immediately picturing the worst possible scenario. I don't make a habit of digging through my rolls of fat to look at my scar, but it has felt fine so I've not worried about it. Once she gasped, I immediately thought that I must have torn open my wound and would have to get re-stitched or something. Then I worried about how this would affect my upcoming gall bladder surgery. Of coarse this thought process and all my worrying happened in a split second... After she gasped, I practically screamed, "What's wrong?!"
She started laughing and said, "I'm sorry! I must have scared you to death! I don't normally gasp, but I've never in my career seen anyone heal up so nicely! I can barely even see your scar! It looks amazing!"
I let out a big sigh of relief and laughed and told her of my past nightmares, where gasping was never a good thing. She laughed until she was practically in tears. I love to make people laugh, so I felt pretty good about my ability to make a doctor laugh so hard... I almost felt better about that than the fact that my body healed up so nicely. Yes, I'm a nerd!
However, over the past nine months, I've outgrown this fear and absolutely love my visits with my OB/GYN... She's absolutely wonderful and always makes me feel totally comfortable! She's probably one of the nicest/friendliest doctors I've ever encountered and I absolutely trust her.
So, today was my postpartum visit and I really had no idea what they would do at this visit. Much to my (unpleasant) surprise, I found out I had to have a "full exam", if you catch my drift. Well, Jayna was having a rough time and I was stressing trying to get her calmed down, all while in a gown with my butt hanging out (although they were totally patient with us). After getting her calmed down, I laid on the table to meet my fate of the day. My doctor pulled the sheet back to take a look at my incision scar... AND SHE GASPED!!!
I freaked out, immediately picturing the worst possible scenario. I don't make a habit of digging through my rolls of fat to look at my scar, but it has felt fine so I've not worried about it. Once she gasped, I immediately thought that I must have torn open my wound and would have to get re-stitched or something. Then I worried about how this would affect my upcoming gall bladder surgery. Of coarse this thought process and all my worrying happened in a split second... After she gasped, I practically screamed, "What's wrong?!"
She started laughing and said, "I'm sorry! I must have scared you to death! I don't normally gasp, but I've never in my career seen anyone heal up so nicely! I can barely even see your scar! It looks amazing!"
I let out a big sigh of relief and laughed and told her of my past nightmares, where gasping was never a good thing. She laughed until she was practically in tears. I love to make people laugh, so I felt pretty good about my ability to make a doctor laugh so hard... I almost felt better about that than the fact that my body healed up so nicely. Yes, I'm a nerd!
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Stranger
I don't want to jinx myself by saying this, but baby Jayna has acted like a complete stranger all day today. She slept soundly for a lot of it, but when she was up she was not very fussy!!! We put her in her crib at 9 (that usually doesn't happen until at least midnight) and so far, she's stayed down. Now, she may wake up and have a fussy period still, but I'm just in shock as to how well the last couple days/nights have gone! Could it be that she's past her colicky period?! That would be soooo wonderful! I feel like a new woman! Please join me in keeping your fingers crossed that it might stay this way!
One random, funny thing that did happen today was right after her bath, Jayna pooped all over her towel and her legs, butt, and feet were completely covered in green pastey poop! I was gagging the whole way to the tub! Luckily, I have a husband that doesn't get grossed out easily... He did most of the dirty work. I just sprayed her down. She wasn't sure what to think of the shower... She had the funniest, perplexed look on her face! Wish I had my camera!
One random, funny thing that did happen today was right after her bath, Jayna pooped all over her towel and her legs, butt, and feet were completely covered in green pastey poop! I was gagging the whole way to the tub! Luckily, I have a husband that doesn't get grossed out easily... He did most of the dirty work. I just sprayed her down. She wasn't sure what to think of the shower... She had the funniest, perplexed look on her face! Wish I had my camera!
Please say it's not a fluke!
The last few nights have been both frightening and wonderful all at the same time. Frightening because I can't help but wonder if I'm sleeping right through Jayna's cries for help, and wonderful because we've actually been getting some sleep.
Like I said in my previous post, we've started switching Jayna back to a heavier formula. She seems pretty content with half and half, so that's what we're sticking with for now. She slept every three hours or so Wednesday and Thursday nights with a few rough spots. However, Friday we tried to keep her up most of the day (which wasn't hard because she was fussy anyways), and that night, after a long struggle to get her down, she actually slept for 5 hours. That's right! We got her down at midnight, she slept until 5, then again until 8, and we both finally woke up for the day at noon. Yep! I slept right through conference and everything and didn't even feel guilty because I needed that sleep soooooo badly! It was wonderful!
So last night I had a long talk with Jayna and told her that the previous night's schedule was quite blissful and told her that it would be most appreciated if she would repeat that. Well, she showed me! We struggled until 1 am and I was worried that Friday night's sleep would have to hold me over until Sunday night's. Guess what? She slept from 1 until 7:15!!! I couldn't believe it! I woke Scott up and asked if he had heard her during the night, but he hadn't... nor had I. I ran in there with a 4 oz bottle (she normally drinks 3), worried that she would be so hungry I wouldn't be able to calm her down enough to eat. Surprisingly enough, she was pretty calm (just a bit fussy). We changed her diaper and calmly ate all 4 ounces of the bottle. Unbelievable!!!
It's now almost 11 and she's just now waking up again! Now, I just need to get her to sleep from 9-9 with a break in there somewhere, and we'll be golden :)
Like I said in my previous post, we've started switching Jayna back to a heavier formula. She seems pretty content with half and half, so that's what we're sticking with for now. She slept every three hours or so Wednesday and Thursday nights with a few rough spots. However, Friday we tried to keep her up most of the day (which wasn't hard because she was fussy anyways), and that night, after a long struggle to get her down, she actually slept for 5 hours. That's right! We got her down at midnight, she slept until 5, then again until 8, and we both finally woke up for the day at noon. Yep! I slept right through conference and everything and didn't even feel guilty because I needed that sleep soooooo badly! It was wonderful!
So last night I had a long talk with Jayna and told her that the previous night's schedule was quite blissful and told her that it would be most appreciated if she would repeat that. Well, she showed me! We struggled until 1 am and I was worried that Friday night's sleep would have to hold me over until Sunday night's. Guess what? She slept from 1 until 7:15!!! I couldn't believe it! I woke Scott up and asked if he had heard her during the night, but he hadn't... nor had I. I ran in there with a 4 oz bottle (she normally drinks 3), worried that she would be so hungry I wouldn't be able to calm her down enough to eat. Surprisingly enough, she was pretty calm (just a bit fussy). We changed her diaper and calmly ate all 4 ounces of the bottle. Unbelievable!!!
It's now almost 11 and she's just now waking up again! Now, I just need to get her to sleep from 9-9 with a break in there somewhere, and we'll be golden :)
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Ramblings
So, poor little Jayna had a Dr's appointment today because she can't seem to keep any food down. When I say that, I should also say, poor mommy, daddy, and furniture because I don't think anything in this house has been able to avoid the massive amounts of projectile vomit that has come from this child. No joke! Yesterday she screamed from 11 am to 4 pm, with only a couple of 10-minute breaks. It was not a fun day at all! She projectile vomited three times in a row on me and my clothes were sopped from the neck down to my knees... I don't even know how that much liquid could have been inside of her. She ended up throwing up about 8 times yesterday, so I called the after-hours nurse and she told me to go to the ER. However, if you read my last post, I'm trying to end my love affair with St. Luke's... and she had already come out of the worst of it. So, instead of going to the ER, we went to the Dr. first thing this morning. He said she looked fine and suggested we switch back to the heavier formula... The gentle stuff goes down easy, but it also comes up easy. He said he felt that she would do better on it now because her stomach is now more developed. I guess only time will tell. We have an appt in 3 weeks with her actual Dr, so we'll see if she's improved and if not, we'll see what he has to say about all of it.
People constantly have been asking us how much Jayna weighs because she's still quite small and almost 7 weeks. Well, rather than saying, "We don't know." we've been guessing and saying she's 8 1/2 or 9 lbs. Well, we were wrong... She's still only 7 lbs 13 oz... Almost 2 months old and still not 8 lbs! Was this baby sent to the right family?! My word! She's still not even close to my birth weight! I must say that it's weird to see newborn babies that are bigger than Jayna.
Even though she's still small, we can definitely see her filling out and are loving seeing all of her new developments. She's starting to react to us a little bit more and is getting stronger and stronger (as if she wasn't strong enough to begin with!). She was laying across my lap the other day and got startled and sat straight up and just sat there! I freaked out when she shot up, so naturally my hands went to grab her, but then I noticed that she needed very little help. I think it was a freak thing, but still...!
I'm posting 2 bath pictures, one of which I've already posted, but I just wanted to show how much she's filling out! The first pic is taken at 3 1/2 weeks of age and the second is at 6 weeks... Huge difference in my eyes!
People constantly have been asking us how much Jayna weighs because she's still quite small and almost 7 weeks. Well, rather than saying, "We don't know." we've been guessing and saying she's 8 1/2 or 9 lbs. Well, we were wrong... She's still only 7 lbs 13 oz... Almost 2 months old and still not 8 lbs! Was this baby sent to the right family?! My word! She's still not even close to my birth weight! I must say that it's weird to see newborn babies that are bigger than Jayna.
Even though she's still small, we can definitely see her filling out and are loving seeing all of her new developments. She's starting to react to us a little bit more and is getting stronger and stronger (as if she wasn't strong enough to begin with!). She was laying across my lap the other day and got startled and sat straight up and just sat there! I freaked out when she shot up, so naturally my hands went to grab her, but then I noticed that she needed very little help. I think it was a freak thing, but still...!
I'm posting 2 bath pictures, one of which I've already posted, but I just wanted to show how much she's filling out! The first pic is taken at 3 1/2 weeks of age and the second is at 6 weeks... Huge difference in my eyes!
Needless to say, I think she likes the sink better.
Now that she is getting a little bigger, we've been trying to go on walks. I say trying! She doesn't love her stroller yet because even though her car seat attaches to it, it sits her up too far and it's uncomfortable for her. So we tried putting her in a sling and she hated that and then we tried our new nifty backpack thing-a-ma-jig... This was her reaction (ignore my horrendously bad hair day):
So, we're back to the stroller. I can't say I blame her... I wouldn't be comfortable practically doing the splits as I bounce up and down to my mom's footsteps either. Not comfortable at all!!! I guess we'll wait until she's a bit bigger and try again :)
I do love it when she does calm down and becomes my cute little snuggle bear. (Ok! That was cheesy!)
This last one I just have to share because it was such the perfect little pose for a picture.
Business in the Front, Party in the Back
I was so excited when our little Jayna was born with hair because we have BALD babies on both sides of the family. So, you can imagine my dismay when I realized that our cute little bug now has male-pattern baldness. No joke! From the forehead back to almost the crown, she's completely bald, but she still has all her hair in the back... Too bad it's not long enough for a comb-over. Haha! I would be a terrible mother, but how funny would that be?
Check it out --
It actually has started slowly coming back in on top, but it still looks hilarious to me.
Check it out --
It actually has started slowly coming back in on top, but it still looks hilarious to me.
Monday, October 1, 2012
My Love Affair
Apparently, I'm having a love affair with St. Luke's. This is a love affair that I'm not exactly happy with, but can't seem to let go of. As if 2 weeks (plus a weekend) wasn't enough of a stay there, my body decided to give me another reason to go back.
Saturday evening around 6:00, I felt a sharp stabbing pain clear from my sternum through the center of my back. At first I thought my back was out, so I asked Scott to try to pop it for me. I laid on the ground on my stomach and thought I was going to die! Soon the pain spread throughout my rib cage and up behind my chest... It felt like my rib cage was squeezing my insides to death. Was I having a heart attack? My right arm felt fine, so I determined that wasn't it.
Scott call his mom and asked her about it and we all figured it was really bad upper indigestion. She suggested laying flat on my back. It should have passed in about an hour, but it didn't. I fell asleep and woke up around 8:30 and felt semi-relieved of the pain, but as soon as I got up to use the restroom, it immediately returned. Bound and determined to not return to good ol' St. Lukes, I decided to try an epsom salt bath to relieve what felt like intense muscle pain in the back part of my rib cage.
Well, the bath didn't really help either. I went in to bed and asked Scott to bring me some water thinking that would help with what felt like an extreme hunger pang. That was the biggest mistake yet! After sipping the water, all I could do was rock back and forth on the bed in extreme pain. I begged Scott to come and massage my back (he didn't need begging, but I did it anyways), as I sobbed uncontrollably. Nothing gave me any comfort!
Scott called his mom again, and she then said it was probably my gall bladder and we should go to the hospital. So, Scott dragged my stubborn self to the emergency room and his wonderful parents met us there to take little Jayna for the night.
After painful poking and prodding and an ultrasound, they determined it was definitely my gall bladder. They gave me some Morphine to help with the pain, told me to take the pain killers I still had from my c-section, and sent us on our way. They told me who to call on Monday and said I'd probably have to get surgery.
We got home around 2:30 am and went straight to bed (I slept until noon). Luckily, when I woke up the pain was almost completely gone and I didn't have to take any more medication. After doing a bit of research, I purchased some natural remedy stuff for gall stones to hopefully prolong surgery, since we don't exactly have $10,000 right now.
Hopefully, this will be the end of my love affair with St. Luke's! It's hilarious to me that I've never had any major issues in my life and haven't even really had to go to a Dr. for anything, and now all of a sudden, I've had to have multiple stays at the hospital.
I will say this: I've been really struggling to get back on the bandwagon since having Jayna, and this was definitely my wake-up call to get my butt in gear to get healthy again. Good times! Good times!
Saturday evening around 6:00, I felt a sharp stabbing pain clear from my sternum through the center of my back. At first I thought my back was out, so I asked Scott to try to pop it for me. I laid on the ground on my stomach and thought I was going to die! Soon the pain spread throughout my rib cage and up behind my chest... It felt like my rib cage was squeezing my insides to death. Was I having a heart attack? My right arm felt fine, so I determined that wasn't it.
Scott call his mom and asked her about it and we all figured it was really bad upper indigestion. She suggested laying flat on my back. It should have passed in about an hour, but it didn't. I fell asleep and woke up around 8:30 and felt semi-relieved of the pain, but as soon as I got up to use the restroom, it immediately returned. Bound and determined to not return to good ol' St. Lukes, I decided to try an epsom salt bath to relieve what felt like intense muscle pain in the back part of my rib cage.
Well, the bath didn't really help either. I went in to bed and asked Scott to bring me some water thinking that would help with what felt like an extreme hunger pang. That was the biggest mistake yet! After sipping the water, all I could do was rock back and forth on the bed in extreme pain. I begged Scott to come and massage my back (he didn't need begging, but I did it anyways), as I sobbed uncontrollably. Nothing gave me any comfort!
Scott called his mom again, and she then said it was probably my gall bladder and we should go to the hospital. So, Scott dragged my stubborn self to the emergency room and his wonderful parents met us there to take little Jayna for the night.
After painful poking and prodding and an ultrasound, they determined it was definitely my gall bladder. They gave me some Morphine to help with the pain, told me to take the pain killers I still had from my c-section, and sent us on our way. They told me who to call on Monday and said I'd probably have to get surgery.
We got home around 2:30 am and went straight to bed (I slept until noon). Luckily, when I woke up the pain was almost completely gone and I didn't have to take any more medication. After doing a bit of research, I purchased some natural remedy stuff for gall stones to hopefully prolong surgery, since we don't exactly have $10,000 right now.
Hopefully, this will be the end of my love affair with St. Luke's! It's hilarious to me that I've never had any major issues in my life and haven't even really had to go to a Dr. for anything, and now all of a sudden, I've had to have multiple stays at the hospital.
I will say this: I've been really struggling to get back on the bandwagon since having Jayna, and this was definitely my wake-up call to get my butt in gear to get healthy again. Good times! Good times!
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Pure Bliss?
Ahhhhhhhhh! (Imagine that done in my most obnoxious, happy opera voice!) I don't know what happened, other than I prayed really hard last night (due to my rotten attitude yesterday), but my wonderful, adorable, sweet baby girl actually slept for 3 hours at a time last night. She has NEVER done that... Maximum, 2 hours at a time, and that's on a good night. Not only did she sleep for 3-hour intervals, but she ate and went down within 30 minutes every time but once... and that one time was only 45 minutes! Can I just say, I felt like a new woman today?!
Not only did she have a good night, but she was only fussy/screaming twice today. The first time was when I put her in her car seat to go to the store, but she calmed down after about 10 minutes, and sadly, the second time was for a full 1/2 hour... the only 1/2 hour I had to teach today... bad timing!
What was amazing about today, is Jayna somewhat uncovered what could have been bothering her for the past week or so... She pooped (count them) 7 times today (of coarse, all of them while daddy was at work)! I had no idea she could have had that much in her system. While she doesn't poop as regularly as she should, she has been pooping about every day and a half or so.
So there you have it! I had to change a lot of poopy diapers, but I was totally okay with that because I got to sleep :)
Not only did she have a good night, but she was only fussy/screaming twice today. The first time was when I put her in her car seat to go to the store, but she calmed down after about 10 minutes, and sadly, the second time was for a full 1/2 hour... the only 1/2 hour I had to teach today... bad timing!
What was amazing about today, is Jayna somewhat uncovered what could have been bothering her for the past week or so... She pooped (count them) 7 times today (of coarse, all of them while daddy was at work)! I had no idea she could have had that much in her system. While she doesn't poop as regularly as she should, she has been pooping about every day and a half or so.
So there you have it! I had to change a lot of poopy diapers, but I was totally okay with that because I got to sleep :)
Monday, September 17, 2012
Rare Form
Despite our attempts to make our little Jayna feel better, she's still colicky :( She'll have 2 really bad nights and then a good night. On bad nights, I'll try to feed her (she'll eat about 1/2 oz if I'm lucky), which takes about 45 min, put her down, and 5 minutes later she's screaming... this cycle goes on and on all night. On a good night, she eats anywhere from 2-3oz in 25 min, goes down with very few issues and wakes 2 hours later to eat again.
Well, smarty-pants here (me), drank a lot of caffeine on Saturday because it tasted so good and it just so happened that that was a good night for miss Jayna. So, after two nights of not sleeping, I had yet another night of not sleeping (and this time it was my own dang fault). Last night was a really rough night for Jayna and mommy! I had not slept in 3 nights and she was just having a rough night, so I was really, really, really cranky and impatient (which I'm sure she fed off of).
As a result, I'm in the crankiest mood I think I've almost ever been in. I felt bad for my poor voice students today because I was the voice teacher from H-E-double-hockey-sticks. I didn't let them get away with anything! I did apologize to each of them, and they said that I was different, but they liked the butt-kicking... Haha!
I couldn't even smile today! That's how cranky I was! Meanwhile, I'm trying to start eating a little better since I've allowed myself to eat anything and everything the last 9 months... that didn't go so well either. Tonight ended in Blizzards from Dairy Queen, which made me feel guilty and made my self-esteem plummet. I'm telling you, I should not be allowed out of my bedroom on days like today!
Funny enough, I feel like I've always somewhat thrived on stress, which is true in the music world... and when I've had enough sleep. However, I'm learning really quickly why I had to wait so long to become a mommy... I never could have done this in my 20's! I'm a very impatient person and like things to be done a certain way. Before now, I've been able to mold my life in a fashion that things could go the way I like, within reason, but have learned a lot about patience along the way. Now, it's no longer about me at all! Nor is anything on my timeline! I can't shower when I want, can't go to the bathroom when I want, can't eat or exercise when I want, can't even teach when I want! I'm sure once Jayna gets over being colicky and once we get into more of a rhythm, I'll feel less overwhelmed, but for now I wonder why Heavenly Father trusts me with this little being.
I've learned more about selflessness and patience in this last month than I've learned in my whole life and tip my hat to all you mommies (and daddies) out there. Y'all make it look so easy!
Well, smarty-pants here (me), drank a lot of caffeine on Saturday because it tasted so good and it just so happened that that was a good night for miss Jayna. So, after two nights of not sleeping, I had yet another night of not sleeping (and this time it was my own dang fault). Last night was a really rough night for Jayna and mommy! I had not slept in 3 nights and she was just having a rough night, so I was really, really, really cranky and impatient (which I'm sure she fed off of).
As a result, I'm in the crankiest mood I think I've almost ever been in. I felt bad for my poor voice students today because I was the voice teacher from H-E-double-hockey-sticks. I didn't let them get away with anything! I did apologize to each of them, and they said that I was different, but they liked the butt-kicking... Haha!
I couldn't even smile today! That's how cranky I was! Meanwhile, I'm trying to start eating a little better since I've allowed myself to eat anything and everything the last 9 months... that didn't go so well either. Tonight ended in Blizzards from Dairy Queen, which made me feel guilty and made my self-esteem plummet. I'm telling you, I should not be allowed out of my bedroom on days like today!
Funny enough, I feel like I've always somewhat thrived on stress, which is true in the music world... and when I've had enough sleep. However, I'm learning really quickly why I had to wait so long to become a mommy... I never could have done this in my 20's! I'm a very impatient person and like things to be done a certain way. Before now, I've been able to mold my life in a fashion that things could go the way I like, within reason, but have learned a lot about patience along the way. Now, it's no longer about me at all! Nor is anything on my timeline! I can't shower when I want, can't go to the bathroom when I want, can't eat or exercise when I want, can't even teach when I want! I'm sure once Jayna gets over being colicky and once we get into more of a rhythm, I'll feel less overwhelmed, but for now I wonder why Heavenly Father trusts me with this little being.
I've learned more about selflessness and patience in this last month than I've learned in my whole life and tip my hat to all you mommies (and daddies) out there. Y'all make it look so easy!
Friday, September 14, 2012
Bath-time
Jayna is 4 weeks old today!!! Time sure flies! I feel like I've gotten nothing done this month, thinking "Well, I just had a baby!" Honeymoon phase, if you will... Even when it comes to Jayna, I feel like I'm behind! I've not gotten to take her on any walks yet, she hasn't gone to church yet, nor has she gotten to meet my BSU family. Worst of all though, is she just now experienced her very first bath! Being as she's been on monitors since we got home, I'd not gotten the opportunity to give her a real bath until this week. Let's just say this new-found task is not cherished by my little one. She hates being naked, hates being wet, and hates being cold!
However, we sure did enjoy the cuddle time afterwards :)
We also got a visit this morning from my sister Allison and her cute little daughter, Haylee. Haylee LOVES the camera and insisted I take a few pictures, so I did... Pretty darn cute!
However, we sure did enjoy the cuddle time afterwards :)
We also got a visit this morning from my sister Allison and her cute little daughter, Haylee. Haylee LOVES the camera and insisted I take a few pictures, so I did... Pretty darn cute!
Random Scott Story
So the other night, I came into our bedroom around 3am after feeding Jayna, only to find that my pillow had been viciously stolen by my husband. Though the act was vicious, I (being the nice person I am) didn't have the heart to retaliate by rudely awaking him. So I tried as quietly and nicely as I could to wake him so I could have my pillow back. He only woke up about a quarter of the way and I asked him if I could have my pillow back. With a VERY confused look on his face, he said, "Sure." and handed it over. Then I asked him where his pillow was. Even more confused by this question than the previous one, he said (with a very perplexed face), "I don't know!" We looked around for a bit and soon discovered that he was hugging it. Then he put it under his head and went back to sleep.
Last night, I remembered this story, which was really hilarious to me for some reason. So, of course, I told Scott the story (with extra exaggeration, because that's my style) and was laughing the whole way through at his expense. Getting frustrated with my amusement, Scott said, "Hey! I'm going to wake YOU up around 2am and ask YOU really difficult questions!!!" (Like "where's your pillow?") At this, I really lost it... I couldn't quit laughing for like 20 minutes! My throat hurt, my stomach hurt, all my insides from surgery hurt, but it was all worth it! It felt good to laugh like that... It's been way too long! (He was laughing too.)
Last night, I remembered this story, which was really hilarious to me for some reason. So, of course, I told Scott the story (with extra exaggeration, because that's my style) and was laughing the whole way through at his expense. Getting frustrated with my amusement, Scott said, "Hey! I'm going to wake YOU up around 2am and ask YOU really difficult questions!!!" (Like "where's your pillow?") At this, I really lost it... I couldn't quit laughing for like 20 minutes! My throat hurt, my stomach hurt, all my insides from surgery hurt, but it was all worth it! It felt good to laugh like that... It's been way too long! (He was laughing too.)
Monday, September 10, 2012
No Strings Attached!
Today Jayna FINALLY got to go off her monitor!!! No more being confined to the rocking chair right by her cradle whenever we want/need to hold her :) There was nothing worse than when she was screaming bloody murder because she was so hungry and we'd have to set her down to go fix a bottle. I lied... There was one thing worse... Peeling off her stupid "electrodes" that the Dr had us tape on because they kept sliding off! It was such a hard thing for me to do! I think her first layer of skin came off with the tape :( We tried soaking the tape with water, soap, lotion, you name it! So, after I finally just had to rip it off, and she was screaming so hard she puked everywhere, I picked her up and cuddled her for a long while to let her know that I didn't want to hurt her. I hate seeing my little one suffer!
Sunday, September 9, 2012
So Jayna is now 3 1/2 weeks old... soon to be one month... Aaaaaahhhh! I see her growing before my very eyes... Something you hear people say all the time, but it doesn't become real until you experience it! Her eyes are starting to get blue, which may change, but they seem to be bluer every time she opens them! She also has ridiculously advanced coordination and strength (according to her Dr... that's not just me talking). Just one week into her life, she grabbed one of the bars to her cradle, pulled herself over to it and started sucking on it... Now that's determination! She also holds her own pacifier in and has held her own bottle in on a number of occasions. Her Dr has warned me that she will probably crawl and walk early on... I'm hoping not... I'm hoping this coordination will help her to be a fabulous piano player ;) I am learning that Jayna likes to have things done her way... she's stubborn, determined, and likes to be in control, but she's also a total sweetheart! Sounds a lot like her mommy (except the sweetheart part, she gets that from Scott). I've warned Scott of what he may have to put up with given these attributes.
Last Sunday my mom and I tried to get some pictures that showed how tiny she actual was.
Please ignore how nastily dirty my oven mitt is... Don't worry, after seeing this picture the oven mitts are in the wash!
Even after seeing these pictures now (a week later), I realize how much she's grown this past week!
Jayna also makes so many faces that make me laugh so hard... poor girl is going to get a complex with how much I just sit and laugh at her!
This is the face she makes every time she's grossed out. When I was trying to breast feed, I made her sick one time and after that, she'd make this face almost every time I'd try to get her to latch on. At one point, she took both hands and pushed me away from her. Haha!
This is her cute little "o" face... Makes me laugh and laugh!
This is her cuddly little I'm-too-cute-for-words face. I can't kiss those cute little cheeks enough!!!
And finally, this is her I'm-wide-awake-and-in-a-complete-daze look. (Wish my camera could pick up the blue in her eyes!)
Last Sunday my mom and I tried to get some pictures that showed how tiny she actual was.
Even after seeing these pictures now (a week later), I realize how much she's grown this past week!
Jayna also makes so many faces that make me laugh so hard... poor girl is going to get a complex with how much I just sit and laugh at her!
This is the face she makes every time she's grossed out. When I was trying to breast feed, I made her sick one time and after that, she'd make this face almost every time I'd try to get her to latch on. At one point, she took both hands and pushed me away from her. Haha!
This is her stubborn face... "Nope! Not going to do it!"
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