Pictures to boot!

I realized I haven't posted any pictures in quite some time. I've been thinking about pictures lately because I've been reading all sorts of posts/articles on Facebook about how we shouldn't be ashamed with how we look... that our children need to see pictures of us with them... how we are the only ones who really notice our faults. Then I realized that I've only taken a couple of pictures of myself since Jayna's been born because I'm so ashamed with how much I've let myself slide. In fact, I won't even have family pictures taken because I don't want to see any pictures of myself. That's so pathetic!!! So I've gained a bunch of weight... does it make me less of a person? No, but for some reason I feel like seeing myself in this state just solidifies my failures in my health journey.

I've been feeling particularly fat and ugly this last week (probably because I'm not moving as well as a 95 yr old person), and have been going through the whole thought process that I can't believe Scott would stay with me looking like this, even though he didn't marry me for my looks in the first place. So, in my desperate attempt to get motivated, yet again, to have the desire to work towards my weight-loss goals, I decided to look through all of my pictures to find some to motivate me. Let's just say that did the trick! Not to brag, but looking back on my pictures of when I was at my thinnest, I have to say that I'm a pretty hot chick! I'm going to post pictures on here of me at my thinnest and me now, mainly for journaling purposes, but also to remind myself how quickly things can slide if I let them and to show the world (ok, just the few people who read my blog) where I am, so I will be more motivated.

This is me Nov '10

 April '11

 ... and today

Aaaagggghhhh! I must say, other than my weight gain, I look less healthy, less happy, and my eyes are squinty... again. I used to think I just had squinty eyes... until I lost all my weight and realized I had big, pretty eyes. Time to find those eyes again!

Ok, enough whining and complaining. I'm the one who allowed myself to get this way, so I will take responsibility and get back to work! On the up side, I have adorable little Jayna and Scott who make my world better :). 

Jayna is just 1 week shy of being 6 months. I can't believe it! I know I say this all the time, but she is just getting cuter and cuter every day. Her little personality is so fun! We were at Walmart the other day with big ol' long lines, so I entertained myself by making Jayna giggle. Well, she got the major giggles. She was laughing sooo hard, hiccuping, and squealing... it was so dang cute! All the people around us were entertained and people were saying how adorable and precious she was. Seeing as my self-esteem is suffering, I soaked up all of the sweet compliments and loved every minute of it!

Here are some of my favorite pics of her over this last month:

Love her little belly

Haha! I love how uncomfortable she looks, yet she didn't move for an hour.

So, this is when I was on the couch with a hurt back. Scott had to go to work for 1 hour only and I truly couldn't lift Jayna. In that hour, she was the most active she's ever been. She made her way off of every side of the area rug and even rolled over (for only the 2nd time). I would scoot myself onto the floor and shimmy her back onto the rug... ridiculous. Oh, and she's naked because she also had a blow-out in that hour and I could barely change her diaper, let alone her clothes.

Hehe! We find her like this in her crib often. She won't sleep unless her head is in the corner (usually with her face up against the bumper pads) and she's always finding a way to shimmy out of her pj's. Girl just wants to be naked!

Love her expression in this one... it was taken today.

Finally enough hair for a little mohawk. Daddy doesn't like it, but I have to show that she has hair. :)

I LOVE MY CUTE LITTLE GIRL!!!!! Can't imagine my life without her! Okay, I love Scott too! ;)